Despite Impossible S5E3: Rewind ft. Rashmi Airan

Episode Transcript

Tansley Stearns

Today's guest is Rashmi Airan. Rashmi is known to be courageous, kind, loyal, vulnerable, and loving. She is also a celebrated motivational speaker, cultural consultant, and former attorney whose journey from corporate law to overcoming a federal conviction has made her a powerful advocate for conscious and courageous leadership. This is Rashmi's story.

People who know you best will describe you as…

Rashmi Airin

Oh, gosh, Vulnerable, courageous. Totally no filter. Kind and loyal and loving.

Tansley Stearns

What's a tiny ritual in your day that you joyfully look forward to?

Rashmi Airin

I get up every morning, and I write in my gratitude journal, and I do a little meditation, and I follow that up with a very hard workout.

Tansley Stearns

What kind of workout do you do today?

Rashmi Airin

I did a class called Shred, which is like a combination of core strength training and cardio, and then I took a spinning class. I'm an overachiever when it comes to working out.

Tansley Stearns

Me too.

What's something you loved doing as a kid that you secretly wish was so socially acceptable as an adult?

Rashmi Airin

Dancing whenever I want to.

Tansley Stearns

All right, so when is the last time you danced so hard that your feet were sore?

Rashmi Airin

Saturday night I was at a conference, and there was a big gala, and I am always, like, the first person on the dance floor, the last person to leave the dance floor. Indian weddings are awesome for that because it's, like, four days of dancing, which is, like, bonus!

Tansley Stearns

So what's an important insight you gained in the last month?

Rashmi Airin

To be more patient? I think as a parent, I am always learning every day how to be more and more patient and how to. And that really transitions directly into my business. Right? I think oftentimes we feel like, why hasn't it happened yet? I'm working so hard, like, you know, and I just think that in life and in business and our families, it takes time, and we just have to do the work and. And keep, like, trusting and having faith that it's coming. And that takes, I think, a lot of patience.

Tansley Stearns

If you have a bad day, what's one song or artist on your playlist that always lights you up?

Rashmi Airin

Oh, that's kind of hard to call down, but I usually say Pitbull. He's also a very good friend of mine. Yeah, there's a long story behind that. I mean, I share that from stage, but, yeah, he's a friend, and he's an inspiration, and his music just makes me want to get up and dance.

Tansley Stearns

What's something you've learned to do well, although you sucked at it at first,?

Rashmi Airin

Exercising. It was not something I grew up with my parents, you know, they grew up in India, and it wasn't really something that they did. And so as I began to sort of start my fitness journey, I felt I totally had imposter syndrome. I was like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not good at this. I'm not an athlete. I never played sports as a kid. I, you know, I felt like I had two left feet. In high school, I was like the manager of the softball team, right? I was not like on the team. I was the manager and, like, keeping stats. Like, I was really good at stats and math. And as I grew up, I ended up running my first marathon when I was in law school. And I really worked very hard at training and conditioning my body. And I'm 54 now, and I feel like I'm in the best shape of my life. But it's taken a lot of, like, commitment and daily. I mean, you know, when I travel for my events, like, it doesn't matter how much sleep I've gotten, I get up and work out before my tech check. So, yeah, you and I are aligned. You and I are right there with each other.

Tansley Stearns

Very big deal.

What's one thing people wrongly assume about you?

Rashmi Airin

That I am always going to be the strong one. I think I am strong. I've gone through life experiences that have pushed me. I always say, like, I believe, God, the universe, whatever you believe doesn't give you what you can't handle. But one of the things, I just said this to my sister, who's seven years younger than me, but I was like, gosh, sometimes I don't want to be the strong one. Sometimes I want to be able to, like, cry and be weak and have somebody ask me, “are you okay?” And that rarely happens.

Tansley Stearns

What do you enjoy doing that you don't get to do often?

Rashmi Airin

Sing. I do sing on stage, like a line, but I just miss the joy of singing. You know, one of my friends just said, why don't you start, like a band? Like, why don't you start something? An acapella group? And I'm like, that would be awesome if I had time to actually figure out, like, the, like, who to do. And like, I just don't have the time. I mean, I could, right? But, singing.

Tansley Stearns

Who haven't you seen perform live in concert that you've been planning to see and haven't yet?

Rashmi Airin

Oh, this is a hard question because I basically go to concerts whenever I can.

Tansley Stearns

Yes, agree.

Rashmi Airin

I'm not sure who I would like to see that I haven't seen. Oh, I know this is sort of, it's sort of not the exact answer, but I saw Taylor Swift many times as she was like coming into her own. Yeah, I did not get to go to the Eras Tour, although I was going to take my daughter. My daughter ended up going with a friend. Yeah, it's a long story. I ended up getting booked for an event so I had to sell the tickets that I did have in Amsterdam a couple of years ago. And so I would have loved to have gone to the Eras Tour. My daughter has definitely made me a Swift fan. Just the energy and I respect and admire her entrepreneurial resilience nature. So I would have loved to have gone to that tour.

Tansley Stearns

What's one thing that inspires hope in you?

Rashmi Airin

My children. I think just watching them navigate their ups and downs gives me hope that our next generation is going to be okay. It's hard I think these days to see what, what's, you know, all the challenges that our kids are facing, whether it's social media and gun violence and climate change is like… there's just so much coming and if we do anything, it's to create better lives for our next… who comes after us. And when I see my kids and their commitment to the future and to creating change, like that gives me hope.

Tansley Stearns

If your 76 year old self wrote you a short note, what would they thank you for? And what gentle nudge might they give?

Rashmi Airin

Okay, they would thank me for having the courage to, to use my voice to create change and to inspire others. And they would nudge me to find more balance. He, she would nudge me to find more balance because I, even my kids are doing this right now. I work a lot. This business is just like any other business. It's hard. It takes a lot of energy and investment of time and energy and money and, and so I find myself, I mean last night I sat at my desk till 10 o' clock at night. So if I, and I'm working on it, like my kids are like mom, please start dating. So yeah, that would be…

Tansley Stearns

What's something that you do well, naturally and without an ounce of effort that you don't see others do often?

Rashmi Airin

I think I'm real, my superpower is I like connect with people at a real level without, I mean like, I don't have to try. It just, it comes out of me. I'm not intimidated by others. Like, so if somebody is like the CEO of some big company, I'm able to, like, get in and get to know, like, their families and their kids and like, somehow they're sharing their pains with me. And I think I have this. I think because I'm so vulnerable and open about what's happened in my life, it's like I give people permission to be vulnerable and. And that has led me to create these amazing connections, I think, with people that like, normally that wouldn't happen with.

Tansley Stearns

Yeah, tell us about your impossible.

Rashmi Airin

Oh, my impossible. My impossible would be. Oh, God. My impossible would be to do a triathlon. This is totally, like, not business related at all. I've done many marathons and century rides, but swimming scares me. I didn't. Even though I grew up in South Florida, I didn't grow up swimming. My mom can't swim. And so, like, I know how to swim, but I've never learned how to like, swim laps. And so the idea of doing a triathlon, I'm like, I'm going to drown. No way. I can do it. I will drown. And so I would love to be able to like, successfully complete a real triathlon. I don't really care where I place, but I just don't want to be like, drowning in the first leg.

Tansley Stearns

What do you look forward to most in the next 12 months?

Rashmi Airin

Oh, I'm really looking to exponential growth in my business. I've been working really hard. I've laid all the seeds and the foundation to build the momentum and I know it's coming and so I'm excited. I am. I also am launching my book May 5, so I'm excited about my book launch. I'm launching a podcast. There's a docu series that's being done on me and my life story and some other aspects of it. And so that has been in the works for five years. But like, I actually just had a meeting this morning with the producer and the sizzle is almost done being edited. So, like, there's just a lot in the next 12 months that will come and I know, blow up my business.

Tansley Stearns

Yeah. What would you worry might stay unfinished if your impossible wasn't addressed or didn't come to life?

Rashmi Airin

So my impossibles is, will I find a lifetime companion? It's very hard and I dating and it's just hard. And so I think along with that is sort of the idea of having a lifetime best friend and companion. So when I get older and I watch, my parents have been married 55 years. They do everything together and I want that for myself. And that feels like… I dream that it's going to happen, but it also feels like, God, it feels so impossible because it's feels really hard to find that person.

Tansley Stearns

Yeah.

Tansley Stearns

That. I think that that's my fear is that I will. And I, you know, I have amazing friends. I'm very happy alone, but I'd love to have a lifetime partner.

Tansley Stearns

Who's someone else we should be talking with on the podcast?

Rashmi Airin

Oh, God. I have so many people I can recommend to you. I have my friend, Jessica Jansen. I don't know if you know who she is. She's in Canada. She is somebody. Her whole mission in life is to help people find joy. And she comes from a place of having lost a son at a very early age from a disease. And she's just. She's literally a bright light. She's amazing. She's so full of energy, and she dreams even when it's hard. And I just love her energy. And we become very close friends. Yeah. Her book is called. I think Finding Joy is her book.

Tansley Stearns

Oh, nice. What's your next Impossible, my friend?

Rashmi Airin

I think my next impossible is believing that when the docu series comes out, we will sell my life rights to a... We have some big names that we will be targeting, and that. That's my impossible. That I believe will happen. That's my thing. Yeah. So it'd be a scripted life story of. It would likely be of the family. Of my family, my parents immigrating and my story. And then my sister passed away six years ago for mental health. So sort of like not just my story, but selling our life rights for a scripted film.

Tansley Stearns

We talked about always being expected to be this strong one, and I do relate to that. And it's an interesting conundrum because we have responsibility in that and the way that we show up and the way that we do or do not accept help. And I have been very guilty of not accepting help for most of my life. So there's a responsibility I have in it. I also feel her response deeply because I actually just this week talked to my therapist about the fact that, you know, I would love to have a little more cushion from other people. And, you know, it is partially my responsibility. It's partially the responsibility of the people in my life to provide that. And for me to be able to count on it, because, you know, for me personally, and I can't speak for Rashmi, what I can say about myself is the reason I am so reticent to accept help is that it has often fallen very short or not been there at all. And, you know, for somebody, that is low trust, which is certainly how I am starting from in my Persona, to ask for help and then have it not show up or to be vulnerable enough to be open to it and not have it be there is devastating.

The idea of using your voice to create more impact and a responsibility of your voice, you know, it's funny because when I hear the question and when I repeat it and I think about it, I was not conscious of that until very recently. And so some of it, I think, has to do with, you know, as you grow in your career or whatever level of success or however you represent the world, that creates a space where you have a level of expertise that others might rely upon. I think that there is some responsibility in that. I also think, though, for me, from my lens as a woman, I think that women's voices have been so underrepresented, in my opinion. And whatever a woman is doing, I think that there is a really interesting responsibility for us as women to share that more boldly and more visibly because there are so few examples of women in different situations that that continues to perpetuate us not being in those different situations,, you know. So, for example, for me, as the president CEO of a credit union, that is also a mom, that is also someone who loves Dave Matthews, that is also someone that is not as traditional in some of the ways that I behave in the world and have a loud laugh, for example, or want to eat popcorn for lunch or run every morning, you know, whatever those things are about me that are unique, there aren't a lot of examples of that.

And that at times has led people to treat me poorly. That at times has led people to question my commitment as a mother, for example, in one of the more painful areas of my life. And I think the more we use our voices to help people see how human we are and how okay it is for people to be fully who they are, I think the more open the world will be to the uniqueness of all of us.

Rashmi is going to join our team for what we call C Cubed. And that is a long way from now, and we're just so excited about it. Every year when we select our speakers, I stay very close to that and help to craft that experience because it's one of the very few times we get together as a team. And every year, I want to build upon the connectedness we feel and how that time together helps us to create more impact in the world, and particularly in the state of Michigan. And Rashmi was a very important choice for us around vulnerability because we are very human, first organization, very purposeful in the culture that we create. And I believe that vulnerability is key to that. And that's been a very difficult journey for me personally, because, again, as a woman in the workplace and as a woman in leadership and as a woman in the world and as my father's daughter, you know, I was raised to not be vulnerable. You know, I talk about not often. And a few times I've talked about this experience I had when I was little. I was playing basketball, which I was terrible at, by the way. And for some reason, I was on a team in the fifth grade that was very good, and we lost the final game. And I remember crying as we were leaving, and my dad was yelling at me to stop crying. And the more I cried, the more he yelled at me, and the more I cried. And so, you know, and I remember in my first credit union, even with a wonderful mentor in John Normando, you know, he used to joke, there's no crying in credit unions. And he was joking, and I took it very seriously. And so I spent the majority of my career being very, very guarded and protected for some personal reasons and some professional and just the way that I was raised. And my observation in the last several years has been that at times can prevent people from really understanding who I am. I think at times it confuses how big my heart is and how much I care about people. And I also think that if you wish for people to show up vulnerably in an organization, it has to begin with every leader in the organization, starting with me. And that's very hard, and it's dangerous. And we record these. And I often wake up in the middle of the night thinking, “I'm not sure I should have said that”. And, you know, what the hell? You get this one shot at life to try to connect with people. And I think connecting through vulnerability is critically important, especially for a leader.