An Interview with Christine Kinal, CEO and President of HAVEN

Laura Killingbeck:

HAVEN, as I understand it, is one of Michigan’s oldest and largest domestic violence shelters. You offer comprehensive emergency services, including shelter, forensic nursing, transportation, counseling, personal protection order assistance, preventative education, and more. Can you share a little about the history of HAVEN and how it grew into what it is today?

Christine Kinal:

This is our 51st year, and we go back all the way to 1975. And I would even argue it started earlier, with people talking and recognizing the need. The conversation around domestic violence really didn't start until the '70s, if you can believe it or not. Before that, everything was really hush hush. But if you talk to your ancestors, your grandparents or great grandparents, this isn't something that just started in the 70s–it’s just when the conversation was welcomed.

We had some strong gals who started in a grassroots movement and coordinated with a local church here in Pontiac. They opened the doors to–it was an old convent–and they opened the doors to the first women's shelter at the time. That's where it originated.

HAVEN is an acronym. Although it means “safe,” it's really Help Against Violent Encounters Now. So when they established that, it started to mean more. Especially with donors and volunteers, it was like, “What is happening?” It was pretty profound to hear that these violent encounters were happening in the home.

Then it moved throughout Pontiac, and throughout Oakland County. Counseling services were added into the Bingham Farms area. The shelter was in the downtown Pontiac area.

And then they started the sexual assault exam program–it's basically sexual assault nurse examiners–about 20 years ago. That was for victims of violence, domestic violence, intimate partner violence, so they could obtain aftercare in a private way. Not just aftercare, but prophylactics and all the care that would happen after a sexual assault, like gathering evidence so people could decide if they wanted to pursue legal intervention with the law enforcement report systems. Or to identify the subject.

About 15 years ago, they started to talk about a campaign for HAVEN. The need was growing. And I wouldn't even say growing–it was just becoming more talked about. People weren't really hiding in the shadows anymore.

It became a more accepted need in the community, whereas before it was like, “Oh, we don't need that. That's not in our neighborhood.”

Now people know about HAVEN. And as you ride through Michigan, I'm sure you're talking to people who are like, “Oh, I'm aware of SafeHouse, I'm aware of Turning Point,” They recognize that it's really grassroots, and it's in the community. And we need that. We can't just pretend that it [domestic violence] isn’t here anymore.

So that's been wonderful. And as a result of that, HAVEN was able to do a campaign around the necessity of having all of our services under one roof. There used to be five different locations throughout Oakland County. Oakland County is one of the largest counties in the state, and it's at least the second most populated, if not the most. So there was an absolute need for it to be a comprehensive program where you didn't have staff all over the county.

And it wasn't even necessarily the staff, it was the barriers to clients coming in for services. Barriers of transportation, finances, time off work, the ability to be able to receive these services. They were having to go to five different locations, potentially. If they were staying in shelter, but needed to go to counseling, then they had to figure out how to get to the shelter, the counseling, to whatever.

So the need was really recognized by the community, and we had some affluent folks who stood up and said, “You know what? This is here, we're here, we want to help fund that.” And as a result, we were able to build our facility here at HAVEN. This is our 10th year in the building, going into the 11th year.

Now if someone's in our emergency shelter, they're able to see counseling services immediately with zero barriers. We're able to provide all their needs. We have child watch while they go to their counseling group, stuff like that.

It's profound. It’s the dignity that folks get when they pull in, and they realize that they're worth it.

Laura Killingbeck:

And how many people do you serve every year?

Christine Kinal:

It’s about 26,000 or more individual services. So if you were to come into shelter and you were to stay one night, that's one service. But if you stay 60 nights, that's 60 services, and then if you got group counseling every other week, that would be another 12 or 15 services. So, we go by services rendered, because that's really where the cost is, and it helps break it down to our community, about the need.

But at any given time in shelter, we have 64 beds. Currently, we have nine women and 27 children. The children tend to outnumber the adults because a lot of people have multiple children.

So that is really busy, you know? I think we have four open rooms that have singles available. But when we have large families, we're not able to put someone who's not affiliated with the family into the same room. So, we can bed 64 people, but there's different things that occur that kind of limit that. But I would say we're always 85% full because of that.

Laura Killingbeck:

And the reason that women and children would be staying in the shelter in the first place is because they either don't have the financial resources to get another place, or because there's such a threat of violence that they need a safe haven. Is that what’s happening?

Christine Kinal:

The majority are fleeing intimate partner violence. One of the criteria for our funding is that they have to be actively fleeing.

We're not a long-term solution, we're crisis intervention. But we find that a majority have financial reasons that they can't get out on their own. And there’s the control piece–they’re in a highly volatile position.

There's an assumption that it's people who are below the poverty level. People who are poor. And, yes, it affects them. But it affects the affluent too. It affects all races. All genders. It affects anybody, any human, because it takes a lifetime of education to understand what it [domestic violence] is, and to develop what is acceptable and what is unacceptable.

If people really think about it, there's not a person who doesn't know someone who wasn't affected by it [domestic violence]. You know?

Since I've been here, I've seen people who are executives at organizations. I've seen people who run very successful restaurant chains, a national restaurant chain. And they've had to stay here because there's been financial control. Or they were married and their finances were conjoined, and in order for them to get out they need that next W2, that next paycheck.

There's just certain things that come into people's lives, whether it be through culture, or even religious institutions. It doesn't matter what religion you're in, sometimes religious institutions can cause harm...like, “You shall stay with your spouse or your partner. You have to work through this.”

Laura Killingbeck:

Your own background includes 21 years in law enforcement. I’ve noticed that you often refer to domestic violence as a crime, which is something that I think many people still don’t acknowledge. Can you share more about how your background in law enforcement informed your understanding of domestic violence as a crime?

Christine Kinal:

I retired after a full 21 years in the city of Southfield. And I retired as a police lieutenant, so I did everything from road patrol to hostage negotiations. I was the sergeant. I taught at the police academy for a long time. I taught culture, diversity, and defensive tactics. And then I was an evidence technician, so I was the one who was going to these calls, and lifting the evidence, and ensuring that we were able to prosecute, and collaborating with HAVEN to get sexual assault exams. And then I worked the crisis line as part of our hostage negotiating team at Common Ground. So I had this big perspective.

But I think how it started for me was that I grew up in a home of domestic violence. My mom started dating someone when I was 11, and I moved out at 16. That five years was profound because I couldn't go home. I was embarrassed to go home, because he would literally beat her near death, in front of my friends. And so by the time I was 11, I knew I wanted to be a police officer. I knew I wanted to make my community safe.

I was a police explorer when I was 15 for the city of Bradford. And later I joined the military, went to college, and I ended up in law enforcement by the time I was 22. And I realized within the first six months that there were resources available to citizens that I didn't know five years, seven years earlier. You know what I mean?

I was in Southfield, where we'd had 100,000 calls for service a year, for a 26-square-mile city. And there's only 60 patrol men. So take 60 patrolmen, divided by 100,000. Or let's say 80,000, 85,000–the rest is probably administrative calls. But that's a lot. And we were taking anywhere from 10, 15, 20 calls, a night, for a 10-hour shift.

So I realized within the first six months, that if people knew about the resources, that it would alleviate some of the calls, you know?

Two thirds of our calls were domestic violence. It was crazy. And that's only when it was reported. So, of those 100,000 calls for service, you probably have 65,000 of them are somehow domestic related. And they're the most violent ones to go to. Those were the homicides. Those were the homicide-suicides. Those were the…. I mean, as I'm thinking right now, I literally had a flash of six, seven of them. I can think of eight now. I can keep going. The amount of calls for service that ended in that kind of lethality was profound.

You see the escalation. When someone would take someone else's life in a domestic violence situation, I would look, and 99% of the time, they had previous calls for service.

So why aren't people recognizing it as a crime? I think we can see what the end result's gonna be, but we're not able to get to that without a complaint. Like, there's gaps in the system. Unless we witness it–and I'm speaking, “we” as law enforcement in this context–unless we witness something, we’re not able to take action. They have to have a complaint. If someone is in a violent scuffle in their home, and it’s one partner versus the other, it's mutual combatants. If they both have injuries, here's so much limitation in the law enforcement space. Unless there's some type of other third-party witness.

But even then, the father-in-law could be there, and he could say, “That didn't happen.” They could have a different perception because they have motives, right? They don't want their loved one to go to jail.

What happens with religious institutions, or family, or cultural things, is they say: “Don't prosecute.” Like, “Why are you doing that? We can handle this as a family. Let's meet with our pastor. Let’s do this.”

Laura Killingbeck:

And that's the “It’s not a crime” thing. That's the, “It's a family thing.”

Christine Kinal:

“It’s not a crime. This is life. There's conflict in life.” Yeah.

And, you know, even I have a struggle understanding: when does it rise to an occasion of crime? How do you separate an argument versus the next level of power and control? It's a really delicate line.

So many people come into our services, and they never recognized they were in an abusive relationship because there was nothing physical going on. They didn't have broken bones or bruises.

And we've had folks that were in a violent relationship–being sexually assaulted–but because it was their spouse, they didn't interpret it as a sexual assault.

So that's something that comes from your upbringing, values, your culture that surrounds you, a pattern of thinking that you were raised in. All those external influences through your formative years, and everything that teaches you what's acceptable and what's not.

Laura Killingbeck:

It sounds like sometimes there can be a cultural acceptance for control over a partner, and that can lead to escalation, and then to lethality, as you put it.

Christine Kinal:

Yes. I’ve actually sat in weddings and thought “Oh that was strange.” You know, where the pastor was like, “Will you take this person to be your husband, and obey him under any circumstances?” They're literally setting up who has the power in the relationship. My husband actually brought it up, like “Did you hear that!?”

And you can look at some of these more conservative groups that we see documentaries about. The Latter Day Saints in Utah. There's two great documentaries out there, if you're interested. On Netflix. Pray and Obey is one of them. And there's another one that just came out. I can’t remember the name, but she was part of that religious group. And then she went back in and helped these women. There was all kinds of things–domestic violence, sexual abuse, pedophilia, and everything. These closed groups can do an incredible amount of harm.

And the victims in that circumstance–because they're still living in those groups–they don't recognize they’re victims. They were seven, ten, twelve years old, recognizing their sole purpose in being created was to be married and to obey. It’s wild, it really is.

And it can be more mainstream groups too. It can be cultural. Like, what part of the world are you from? You know, where your voice is second? Where you won't get into heaven unless you obey, or you're subservient? It’s interesting, right?

And it’s a very delicate power balance in healthy relationships. It’s trying to teach people preventative education, if they allow us. But we do good work. I'm telling you, there's a lot of communities that are welcoming and bring us in and recognize the need. We just have to do it when the iron's hot–we have to do the best we can.

Laura Killingbeck:

According to the HAVEN website, in 1993 “HAVEN developed a Coordinated Community Approach to intimate partner violence along with police departments, courts, hospitals, and other human service providers. This program is the national model for others who wish to replicate such a comprehensive approach to ending violence in homes throughout America.” Can you tell me how and why this coordinated approach happens?

Christine Kinal:

I think there's always different perceptions that people have, based on what angle you're looking at or what lens you're looking through.

If you're a judge, you're looking through a lens of the totality of the picture. But you're only looking at it from the civil standpoint of: equally divide. “They were in the marriage for 20 years. Their kids are almost 20 years old, so everything's all seems all equal,” right? So they come at it from a property or civil standpoint.

And then you come in from the law enforcement side, with law enforcement saying, “Well, we've been to this house 47 times.” You know, for domestic violence, or accusations of domestic violence, or arrest, or whatever. So they're saying, “Well, no, no, no, this isn't all said and fair. Look at all this information.” But the judge is saying, “Well, that's criminal. This is civil.” And then they don't communicate, right?

And then you come in from the child Protective Services lens. And they're saying, “Our goal is to protect the children.” If you're following some of the Michigan legislative talks, they’re talking about the 50/50 law, so all judges throughout the state could say, “We presume that 50/50 is in the best interest of the children, unless otherwise stated.” So then CPS is coming in saying, “Well, you're holding the child from the other parent.” Not “the abuser,” because it's not their role to dub them an “abuser.” It's their job to say that the law protects them 50/50.

It’s a lack of collaboration and understanding about the complexities. So we developed the Crisis Response Teams, where we'll bring all those people together and have these discussions. That way everybody can take an inventory about what we can do better, you know?

It [the legal system] is so complex that it causes so much harm to the victim. It's like they don't have any voice. And even in the criminal cases, what we see so often is that the victim doesn't have any rights when they go into trial. But the one being prosecuted does. They have the right to remain silent. They have representation. They get to voice their opinion on things the whole time, but the victim has to sit in the audience and hush. So we see all kinds of harm being done, unfortunately, through the system.

But all we can do is take these steps and try to advocate for our survivors and be in the space so we can grow and educate people. There's been incredible change over the last 20 years, at least in Oakland County. I witnessed that. It’s slow moving– like I told you, the conversations didn't even start until the 70s–and now here we are. It took 50 years to be able to get to this space where the conversation is now acceptable.

And we're coming into all kinds of rooms now. So, things–as slow as they've moved–they've really become a good, long way.

Laura Killingbeck:

So it sounds like you're doing a lot of emergency services as well as systemic work–creating the communication that’s necessary between all those different institutions.

Christine Kinal:

Yes. Another one of our initiatives is Systems Change Plan. And with the Systems Change, the strategy is really commonsensical. It just comes down to, “Hey, team, let's sit down and talk about some of the barriers we've had in systems.” And then we locate those systems professionals. We collaborate, sometimes coordinate to meet, and then we strategize together and how we can do better.

An example is Child Protective Services last year. We had some situations with agents that were not understanding the trauma-informed approach. You don't have to come out here with guns blazing, you know–we have a different approach. So we ended up training their whole area here in Pontiac. And that will help permeate their culture. And that's kind of how it happens.

We do it in the corporate space, too, and we try to get into all of our religious institutions. A lot of people seek faith when they're in times of crisis, and there's no resources there. You're going there because you're being abused, and there's zero outreach materials, if you think about it. So we try to collaborate in that space, too, to get them the information.

Laura Killingbeck:

Wow, that's smart. Because that's an institution that has so much influence over people–spiritual influence.

Christine Kinal:

And there's some religious institutions where they absolutely know. There's some religious institutions where they’re not even allowed to talk to another woman, you know? There's some religious institutions where we have to figure out how to get information to that population: absolute hierarchical, faith-based institutions where women don't have a voice.

So, they're not easy, but we recognize there's a need there. And again: all people, regardless of where they're at, need the information. If there's one thing everybody's entitled to, it’s to have a violence-free existence, where they'renot being violated in any way.

Laura Killingbeck:

As you know, orsa credit union is examining how financial abuse and economic control lay the foundation for domestic violence. What are the most common types of financial abuse that you’ve seen in your work at HAVEN?

Christine Kinal:

What we see most often is folks where their credit's been damaged or they've lost their job because of their abuser.

There’s all kinds of ways…like, “If I can’t see where you’re at, then the abuse is going to be worse.” So they [the abuser] make them quit their job. Or they [the abuser] go to their job and cause such a disruption that they get fired. I would say that's probably more often the case, that they lose their job due to the abuse–due to the barriers that are created by that person. They [the abuser] takes the car. Or they [the abuser] gets angry and they're not able to go and they lose their job due to attendance.

Or they're married and they have a shared account, and they [the abuser] take away any means from utilizing those funds. And that's where we try to safety plan with them.

The non-physical abuse is far more common. Because it's the gaslighting and all that–it's less detectable. That's where it affects everybody. That’s where they need that safety planning time period where they can try to put funds away. Because you can't do anything without money. You can't move on. You can't just leave. You know?

Laura Killingbeck:

It’s interesting to hear you say that financial autonomy is part of safety planning. That there's a direct correlation between finances and the ability to keep oneself safe.

Christine Kinal:

Yeah, financial autonomy. Because when you take the power and control piece–can you imagine? You can't even get toothpaste, you know? “What, you need feminine products? No, you didn't clean the house.” I mean, we see all kinds of things.

And I think younger generations are realizing that, too. It’s where people lose their voice: through finances.

Laura Killingbeck:

And what inspires you to do this work?

Christine Kinal:

I just feel that the door's open, and I'm right where I'm supposed to be. Having the first-hand experience and recognizing that there’s a path forward. There's a whole village here for folks, and they're not alone.

And believing them, right? Because so many times we've dismissed people. We're like, “Oh my God, he was just having a hard week,” And even your own parents. You could disclose to your family, and they could be like, “Oh, give him a break. He's really been working hard,” or “She's really been working hard.”

And I have kids, you know? I have a 15 and 17 year old, and I don't want them to have to experience what I had to experience. So, getting the knowledge, and working with these great professionals, and being able to change my kids' lives. This experience at HAVEN–I feel very fortunate to be able to serve in this way.

I want people to recognize that they're not defined by what's happened. The windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror for a reason. Rmember when Jelly Roll said that? It’s such a good analogy.

Coming here and working with folks at HAVEN, it's a little euphoric in comparison to previous areas where I worked. Just coming in is joyful, you know? Even though we're dealing with crisis–because everybody's heart is really in the mission.

Laura Killingbeck:

What message do you have for survivors?

Christine Kinal:

My message for survivors is: they're not alone. There's help. Even if they can't leave right now, we're here. And we can help them get to that place when they're ready.