Consider how the simple beauty of any individual unfolds through their complexity and depth. Valuing one element of an individual’s identity narrowly and weighing any portion of a human being’s passions more heavily limits us and, more importantly, them. We can do better.
In the past week, if I had created a bad reality show, you would have seen me:
When we think about the roles we play as humans, they are incredibly complex. I am a:
And I am also so much more. I know you are so much more than your title, relationships, political beliefs, values, and the last book you read or movie you watched. I have for years worked to earn one of my dreams: becoming a president & ceo. I have often tied my worth to that one role and my career. I no longer see myself in that limited way. I exist as a messy amalgamation.
In a time when some may wish to find simplicity and see a narrow role for some humans to play, I invite us to turn toward an alternative. My dream to be a mother started racing at me in my mid-30’s rising rapidly like a fever, and I chased it with abandon despite significant challenges. My dream to be a president & ceo developed over time, and it took me over 20 years to achieve. My dream to run the Boston Marathon grew as I ran the Chicago Marathon, Detroit Marathon, and Nashville Marathon. My dream of meeting Dave Matthews amplified from concert to concert. All those dreams matter deeply to me. My identity is more complex than any one of those aspirations. My identity is as complex as my impossible dreams coming to life.
Because of our human aversion to complexity, we may focus on just one part of any person’s identity. Humans are conditioned to distill complexity by narrowing it down to two familiar (often opposing) viewpoints. We deal with uncertainty by asserting certainty. My identity as a credit union ceo doesn’t come at the detriment of being a good parent. Being vegetarian doesn’t mean I don’t cook bacon and grill steak for my omnivore daughter. Advocating to close the gender equity gap doesn’t represent a lack of commitment to coaching and elevating talented men.
As McKinsey & Company’s 2023 Women in the Workplace states, “The pandemic showed women that a new model of balancing work and life was possible. Now, few want to return to the way things were. Most women are taking more steps to prioritize their personal lives, but at no cost to their ambition—they remain just as committed to their careers, and just as interested in advancing, as women who aren’t. These women are defying the outdated notion that work and life are incompatible—and that one comes at the expense of the other.
The same report also addresses a glaring problem in achieving gender equity: the broken rung. There is much risk in the unidimensional thinking that the glass ceiling has been shattered and the gender equity gap will fix itself over time. Yes, we have evidence that more women are given the chance to lead organizations. As the authors share, “Women are often hired and promoted based on past accomplishments, while men are hired and promoted based on future potential.” This bias is exacerbated in earlier promotions, where the gender disparities originate. This ties directly to the many roles we play and how men and women wearing similar hats at times may experience different opportunities based on this broken rung bias. Addressing this bias is hard work and pushes us to see the complexity of the roles we play. Doing that work is worth the effort as it systematically generates a stronger pool of candidates to build for the future, ultimately driving stronger business results.
The gist? Professional ambition + prioritizing family = a multifaceted, complex human.
My invitation today is to consider how the simple beauty of any individual unfolds through their complexity and depth. Valuing one element of an individual’s identity narrowly and weighing any portion of a human being’s passions more heavily limits us and, more importantly, them. We can do better. When I’m deeply engaged in an eTeam meeting, dreaming about the future of our credit union, I’m no less of a mom. When I’m talking with MacKenzie about navigating middle school, I’m no less of a runner. When I’m riding my Peloton, I do not have less passion for the Dave Matthews Band.
As a people leader, I strive to embrace these paradoxes and manage the emotional discomfort of complexity. As an executive, I expand this approach to the times when I “wear the ceo hat” to challenge my team (me included) to push beyond simply tolerating ambiguity, fight the urge for unidimensional decisions, and question if other paradoxes lurk beneath the surface that might allow for even better outcomes in the future.
Many things can be true at once, and one way we turn down the volume of discord and polarization is to live in the messiness of that human truth. Huzzah!
orsa, the credit union you knew as Community Financial Credit Union (CFCU)