The Community is Here for You: On The Wings of Angels

On The Wings of Angels Provides Immediate Support for Survivors of Domestic Violence

Shortly before I entered the Porcupine Mountains, I rounded a bend and saw green. Tiny buds sprouted from the tips of branches, and little fiddleheads poked out of the ground. I stopped to snap pictures and contemplate the wonder of new life. Nature is a shapeshifter, and humans are part of nature. We are made of new beginnings.

I pedaled along a winding road through the Porcupine National Forest and descended into the little town of Wakefield. On the north side of town was a large county campground next to a shimmering lake. I set up my tent and prepared myself for my first interview of the trip. Most of my interviews will be in person, but due to the puzzle of logistics, this one would happen on Zoom from my tent.

On The Wings of Angels

JoJo Dries appeared on my screen and smiled. JoJo is the founder of On the Wings of Angels, an Oakland County nonprofit and “community united in our mission to empower those adversely affected by domestic violence.” I knew she’d grown up in an abusive family, escaped at age 29, then married the love of her life. When I saw her smile on my screen, I saw a person who had traveled through darkness by shining her own light.

We started talking about her work with On the Wings of Angels, and JoJo described how she’d modeled the organization after her own story. “When I escaped, I literally had nothing but the clothes on my back,” she told me. “And the community jumped in. They gave me a bed, helped pay my first month’s rent, and helped me pay my bills.”

That immediate assistance allowed her to move on with her life. She married her sweetheart, started a family, and worked in the mortgage industry for a few years. During that time, she and her husband came in contact with other women in abusive relationships, and they provided them with assistance.

Then, one day in 2022, three separate women approached JoJo about their abusive home lives. This is when she realized that the problem needed a bigger solution, and she decided to create the nonprofit. The goal of On the Wings of Angels is to provide domestic violence survivors with“immediate and tangible” support–just like the community had done for JoJo.

This support can include anything from housing, to financial assistance, transportation, clothing, food, therapy, kids’ school supplies, or security teams. “Whatever their specific situation is, and their immediate need is, that's what we fill. We fill in that gap,” JoJo told me.

Three years after its inception, On the Wings of Angels has served almost 300 women and their children.

Financial Abuse

Before interviewing JoJo, I’d listened to some of her previous talks. In one talk with NPR, she told a graphic story about financial abuse. A woman had come to On the Wings of Angels because her abusive husband had intentionally crashed her car into a wall. The car was a rental that the woman needed for her job with Uber. By destroying it, the abusive husband had effectively prevented her from earning an income.

On the Wings of Angels helped the woman get a new car and resume work. She was able to leave her abusive husband, support herself independently, and eventually enroll in nursing school. This story showed how financial self-sufficiency is often the crucial element that enables survivors to leave their abusers and move on.

In my own interview with JoJo, I asked her how someone would know if they’re in a financially abusive relationship. She identified two big red flags: inequality in financial decision-making, and inequality in communal asset ownership.

Financial Abuse: Inequality in Financial Decision-Making

JoJo explained that both parties in a relationship should have an equal ability to spend money and make financial choices. If one person can make independent financial choices, but the other has to ask permission or is not included, that’s a lack of equality in financial decision-making and a red flag for abuse.

“You, as a human being, should be an autonomous human being that is allowed to make financial decisions when you go to a store, a restaurant, buy gifts for your friends, buy gifts for your family, " she said. “It doesn't matter if you've been in a 20 year marriage, a 20 year relationship, if you're married to a man or a woman, none of that should matter. You yourself are an individual and should be allowed to make financial decisions.”

“Is it healthy in a marriage, in a relationship, to talk to each other about finances?” she added. “Yes, as long as it's on equal ground…do you have to ask permission before you spend the dollars? And if you do, does the partner also have to ask permission? It should all be equal on all levels.”

A lack of equality in financial decision-making means that one person retains financial control over the other. This type of control is often part of a larger constellation of controlling or abusive behaviors that can include psychological, emotional, physical, sexual, or spiritual abuse.

Financial Abuse: Inequality in Communal Assets

JoJo shared an example of a woman whose abusive husband put their joint income and assets into accounts that were only in his name. The husband’s control of their shared assets was a way of controlling the relationship. “So now she's trying to get a divorce and using some of our resources to help her, and she can't get anywhere with the finances because of the lock that's on all of the accounts,” JoJo explained.

“It should be equal on all levels,” she added. “If you have nothing to your name and everything is in your partner’s name, that’s where the problem lies.”

As I listened to JoJo talk, it occurred to me that this is more common than people think–we just don’t always recognize it as abusive behavior. Financial abuse is a factor in 99% of abusive relationships because it’s such an effective method of control. When you control someone’s access to money or resources, their line of credit, their ability to earn an income, or their ability to own independent assets, you control the relationship itself.

The Community Is Here For You

During my interview with JoJo, we smiled, laughed, and at one point JoJo teared up. It happened when she said the words “Survivors need us.” Clearly, this was something she felt deeply. And when she said it, I felt it too.

She went on to explain that domestic violence is happening everywhere, and it’s often hard for survivors to leave. This is why it’s crucial to talk about domestic violence and let survivors know that help is available and they’re not alone. And this is why On the Wings of Angels focuses on community support. “I think it’s really important that people listening know: we have the power, as a community, to prevent this cycle of abuse from continuing,” she said.

“I feel like survivors like me, who have come to the other side and are thriving–we’ve created the life of our dreams,” she added. “Survivors that are still in it need to be able to see that. There is so much light and love and success and dreams that can be fulfilled on the other side of it.”

New Beginnings

The next day, I packed up my tent, hopped on my bike, and pedaled onward. The day was warm and sunny and felt like spring. I kept thinking about JoJo and her extraordinary community of survivors. We really are made of new beginnings.